By Richard Todd, WebBall

This page started life as an 'Ask the Coach'  question. But it went far beyond the normal 'how-to' requests and raised some serious issues about coaching responsibility and approach. WebBall welcomes your comments on this subject.

My reply...

I think even writing this email shows incredible strength and character and any coach who would fail to recognize this level of commitment - well, that's his loss.

I also have to tell you that I am not a trained psychologist or counsellor. You could also benefit from first hand advice. If a parent is not available or suitable, perhaps, a religious leader, or school counsellor, another relative, a close friend.

I also want to assume that the need you feel to impress this coach is purely based on the game - not on feelings you may have, or a relationship that goes beyond baseball. (If it is, I am telling you right now to get immediate professional help - you are blameless, but he may be a problem in your life that someone else must handle for you.)  Sorry to raise this issue, but I know that there are coaches who coach because they want to exert power and control over kids.

Okay, that said, let's move on.

Who are you playing ball for anyway?  It's you, right? - you love the game. You know it, you understand it, you've shown a willingness to commit to it and stick with it. With luck, you will continue to play  - in college, as an adult - perhaps you'll also coach some day. So the first thing you have to do, is play for yourself - and your teammates. (An aside: as a baseball coach, I am jealous of the kind of camaraderie and boosterism that is such a big part of the softball experience for girls. The cheers are so great to see.)
So, play this season for yourself.

Next point - there is no perfect player or coach. No one bats 1000.  No pitcher strikes out everyone. No player ever has a perfect fielding season (even in MLB, a 95% can earn a gold glove award). There is also no perfection in life.  And if that's true of you - then it's also true of him.  "Coach" has 5 letters, "God" has 3 - they aren't the same - as much as he might like to think so.

No doubt he has taught you a lot over the years. But others might have taught you just as well. And if he was a great hitting coach, I'll bet dollars to donuts that somewhere out there is a better fielding coach (or vice versa). This is not to put him down, but to help you realize that however much he has taught you, he has failed to teach you about self-confidence - or about alternatives to his own knowledge and authority.

So, having established he is not perfect, let's not look for more flaws, okay, let's just let him be what he is - a guy who gets paid a modest amount to teach HS softball. (He isn't earning $2 million a year coaching in the majors, after all.)

So, if perfection is out - as is pleasing a coach who will not be pleased - if both these are 'out', what does that leave you?

Small Measures: Little ways you can look for improvement in yourself this season. Maybe you can get one more double than ever before?  Or you can learn a more relaxed swing? Or you cut a .01th off your base running time. Hey, they don't have to be big - they shouldn't be - just a way to measure yourself against the only standard that matters - how you did last year.

And even if you don't make the mark in every small goal you set for yourself, maybe you helped a teammate improve their game. Or the team did better overall. Or you just had a heck of a good time storing about some good memories of HS (cause let me tell you the really are some of the best years - even when they're a struggle.)

Now, do me a favour. You don't need to write back to me right away. But I do insist on this - please take time out after your season is over, after you're done with grad and final exams and all that, and do write back to me. I really want to know how it all worked out.

I usually end "ask the coach" replies with have a great season. In this case I'll add to it.

Have a great season.
And have a great life.


    Richard Todd, WebBall.